Kettlebell Christmas Song

Written by our very own David Burgess, a kettlebeller and musician extraordinaire from North Carolina.

Sang to Jingle Bells tune.

Kettlebells, kettlebells,
Swing them
ho, ho, ho,
We may get siesta time,
while Kat’s in Mexico, hey,
Kettlebells, kettlebells,
Without class from Kat,
I’ll most likely sit around and eat ‘till I get fat!

Snatching, swing and row,
And then I’ll lunge and squat.
If I do it right,
my ass will look so hot!
But without class from Kat,
My work will sorely lag,
And within a few short weeks
my butt will start to sag. Oh,

Kettlebells, kettlebells,
Wear the proper clothes.
There are certain body parts
you don’t want to expose. Hey,
Kettlebells,
when you do
Happy Baby pose,
make sure you’re not flashing someone
when you grab your toes.

Viking Warriors snatch,
As quickly as they can,
Striving hard to match,
the numbers in their plan.
But when they need a break,
from all the work they do,
they’ll get their chance from stinky pants
when Ari has to poo. Oh,

Kettlebells, kettlebells,
Get-ups a lá Turk,
They are complicated,
and they take a lot of work, but,
Kettlebells, kettlebells,
When I’m old and sore,
I’ll still have the skills I need,
to get up off the floor.